


God has abandoned this timeline

by streetwiise



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Marvel Text Fic, Maybe - Freeform, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Steve Rogers Works On His Issues, Tags May Change, Team Iron Man, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Does What He Wants, Tony Stark Has A Heart, eventually, i mean they'll exist, ill also add onto my characters, kind of, made by me, no idea if anyone else actually uses it tho, or any ships, thats right thats a tag now, they'll get over it but rn its kinda hostile
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-24
Updated: 2019-03-29
Packaged: 2019-11-29 04:35:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18218279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/streetwiise/pseuds/streetwiise
Summary: Steve Rogers: Who is Regerts?regerts: oh i have JUST the name for uregerts changes Steve Rogers to "a_bitch"tonystank: OKAY no more admin privileges for you buster__Basically Tony Stark makes a group chat and things happen aftewards. Post Civil War and Post Infinity War, and this is kind of a team Iron Man fic. Don't like, don't read.By "kind of", what I mean is that there are hostilities at first, but things eventually settle. Steve and the Rogues won't be coming in until later.





	1. Chapter 1

_Tony Stark adds "peter, rhodey, Pepper Potts, happy" to groupchat. (3/14/19)_

 

_Tony Stark names groupchat "All Day Every Day"._

 

_Tony Stark changes name to "tones"_

 

rhodey: Tony what is this

tones: an attempt at acknowledging peoples

peter: omg mr stark what is this

rhodey: "Mr Stark"?

peter: ,,,

peter: oh my gOD MR STARK IS THAT??? WHO I THINK IT IS????

tones: heh yeah

peter: omg hi!!! mr colonel rhodes sir!!

rhodey: Uh, hi?

rhodey: Who're you??

tones: platypus, meet my personal intern, peter parker

peter: !!!hi!!!!

rhodey:Oh, so you're the intern Tony talks about!

peter: he talks abt me?!??????

tones: absolutely not

rhodey: Yeah, it's pretty funny actually

tones: i plead the fifth

peter: !!mr stark thats so nice of u!!!! :O

tones: i dont talk about you

rhodey: That's a lie but sure, Janet

peter: omfg i cant believe u just got called out mr stark

tones: you cant just humiliate me in front of my intern rhodey this is illegal im calling the police

rhodey: I am the closest thing to a police you have willingly stepped five feet near

rhodey: You wouldn't know how to act around the police

tones: you cant just call me out like this

rhodey: Then what do you call what I've been doing?

tones: a personal attack

peter: ned im having a fuckgin heart attack oh my gOD

peter: FHSUIOPFHSDI WRONG CHAT IM SDFJSDFIOP IM NOT HAVING A HEART ATTACK OH NO

tones: oh thank god

Pepper Potts: Why did Tony just sprint out of the conference we were in the middle of?

rhodey: Read up

Pepper Potts: Oh, never mind then

peter: JIOFPSDF IM SO SORRY :(

tones: this is horrible im being called out from all sides

tones: you didnt do anything wrong peter dont worry

peter: JIDOJS still im sry if i scared u :(

tones: scared? psh i dont have emotions i cant get scared

Pepper Potts: Tony's pouting. It's adorable, really.

tones: im being attacked on all fronts... my only friend is happy.....

happy: Why am i added to this mess

tones: because... you're my only friend now...

peter: omg,, thats so edgy,,

happy: That's so sad alexa play despacito

peter: that is a dead meme happy ur dead to me now

happy: The only reason i know about that joke is because of you. Don't act like you don't still say it

peter: U CANT JSUT CALL ME OUT LIKE THIS IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE WORLD

happy: Consider this revenge for getting that stupid shark song stuck in my head

 

_happy goes offline._

 

peter: :( i hope he isnt rly mad at me

Pepper Potts: Don't worry, I doubt it.

tones: yeah he just likes to act grumpy but rly he's a softie

tones: its sad

rhodey: Man I wonder if there's anyone else in this chat who acts grumpy but is, in fact, a softie

peter: omg,,,

tones: WOW suddenly i have fifty meetings to get to

 

_tones goes offline._

 

peter: its down to three

Pepper Potts: Aren't you supposed to be at school?

peter: suddenly i cant read

Pepper Potts: Peter...

peter: yikes gtg bye!! so nice to meet u mr colonel rhodes sir!!

 

_peter goes offline._

 

rhodey: Why do I feel like this chat will be hell

Pepper Potts: Because you have common sense, obviously.

Pepper Potts: We'll see you on the weekend, right?

rhodey: Yeah, I'm not about to let you die from food poisoning that Tony cooking would inevitably bring

Pepper Potts: I'll talk to you later then, Rhodey!

rhodey: You too, Pepper!

 

_Pepper Potts goes offline._

_rhodey goes offline._


	2. x to doubt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> peteypie: i can handle it
> 
> peteypie: mgnh i gtg i gotta work on homework
> 
> MJ: I'm pretty sure you didnt get any homework today
> 
>  
> 
> peteypie is offline

_"physical hell"_   _(MJ, peteypie, nedboy) (3/15/19)_

 

_peter is online_

 

peteypie: whats up my name is peter parker

peteypie: and i tripped going up the stairs

peteypie: so now im in the nurse's office bc i smashed my face on the stair step

peteypie: god is absolutely dead as u can see here

 

_nedboy is online_

 

nedboy: man i can't believe you've gone and killed yourself

peteypie: tFSFJIOSDFfjidfo neither can i

 

_MJ is online_

 

MJ: How did you Trip??? going up the stairs???

peteypie: see i underestimated how much lift for my foot

peteypie: so i just

peteypie: s m a s h e d my foot on the step

peteypie: and fell

nedboy: happens to the best of us

MJ: I'm gone for one day and u go and do This

peteypie: fjsiuodfpjs LISTEN its not MY fault i did this

nedboy: the way u phrased it,,,, makes it ur fault,,,, peter,,,

peteypie: u make it sound as though it was not in fact my fault

nedboy: bro i saw flash shove u???? i was right behind u????????

peteypie: IRRELEVANT

MJ: Jesus Christ

nedboy: yknow peter maybe u should tell someone abt flash??

peteypie: okay but concept

peteypie: i can actually deal with flash

MJ: Considering the guy pushed u down the stairs i think thats a highly suspect way of dealing with flash

peteypie: well i can take it!! its whatever and it isnt a big deal!!

peteypie: better me than, idk some freshman right??

nedboy: ,,,,u!! used to be the freshman!!! u gotta care abt urself too

peteypie: i see ur point

peteypie: but i raise u this;

peteypie: if things go too far i'll punch him back or smth

MJ: Press X to doubt

MJ: X

nedboy: x

peteypie: wow. alright.

nedboy: peter we aren't like,,, trynna rain on ur parade yknow

nedboy: we care abt u and this isnt rly healthy

nedboy: right mj?

MJ: I mean, yeah, its kind of extremely toxic??

peteypie: i can handle it

peteypie: mgnh i gtg i gotta work on homework

MJ: I'm pretty sure you didnt get any homework today

 

_peteypie is offline_

 

nedboy: mgnghfd

MJ: He's fine, he's probably just, like,

MJ: Dealing with it

nedboy: yeah ik i get that

nedboy: but still

nedboy: imma head off bc ive been procrastinating an essay for like five days so

MJ: Smfh

 

_nedboy is offline_

 

_MJ is offline_

 

* * *

 

_Messages (TinMan, Spider-Infant) (3/15/19)_

 

Spider-Infant: hey mr stark is it cool if i like

Spider-Infant: dont come in today for the internship stuff

TinMan: I mean yeah it is but can I ask why?

Spider-Infant: im just not feelin too hot today

TinMan: are you sick??? I can get dr cho to get you some meds that'll work with your metabolism

Spider-Infant: nnno, no, im not sick

TinMan: then what gives???

Spider-Infant: just kinda rly frustrated nd stuff yknow :/

TinMan: oh, that makes sense, alrighty

Spider-Infant: yeh

TinMan: ...do you wanna talk abt it?

Spider-Infant: tbh its not That Big Of A Deal

TinMan: are you sure? sometimes talking can help

Spider-Infant: yes bc u talk abt ur problems

TinMan: I mean to be fair

TinMan: I have been trying to

Spider-Infant: ,,,oh

Spider-Infant: fjisdfojdfs guess i gotta now :(

TinMan: you dont have to if you dont want to kid its just an option

Spider-Infant: mndfugp i kinda wanna talk abt it now that im thinking abt it bc???

Spider-Infant: idk!! my friends are kinda like "oh man u shouldnt let this guy be like that to u u cant handle it" but

Spider-Infant: i!! can handle it!! and its like they dont think i can deal with my own problems

Spider-Infant: they KNOW im spider-man and they KNOW if i rly wanted to i could win in a fight against this dude

Spider-Infant: and they KNOW that i heal, like, mega-fast in comparison yknow

Spider-Infant: but they kinda act like i dont know what im doing when, in fact, i do know what im doing!!

Spider-Infant: i know i can handle flash bc if it isnt me hes messing with its someone else!!

TinMan: kid??? is this flash guy like bullying you or something???

Spider-Infant: no its not even really bullying??? its just like,,,,,,, mean comments for the most part and sometimes being shoved???

Spider-Infant: its not even that big of a deal!! like, ned, mj, i can HANDLE this????? im not gonna throw punches bc this guy calls me stupid??? and stuff yknow????

Spider-Infant: and yeah sometimes his comments on how poor i am hurts but??? thats just me being kiiiinda pathetic ngl but??? i can handle it??

Spider-Infant: its rly not even that bad mr stark????? idk y theyre so concerned??

TinMan: okay... so how are you dealing with it?

Spider-Infant: ??wym??

TinMan: you said you're dealing with it, which means that you're working to get this guy stop

TinMan: so how are you dealing with it?

Spider-Infant: ,,,its?? not bad enough to deal with tho??? i can handle it

TinMan: but, kid, the thing is, you shouldnt have to. im not saying you cant handle it, but im saying that you should, you know what i mean?

Spider-Infant: ,,,,,i guess,,,,, but,,,,

TinMan: ...but?

Spider-Infant: idk its kinda the principle of the thing??

Spider-Infant: like,,,, its not even that he bullies me and thats the problem??? but its kinda a problem but its Secondary rn yknow

TinMan: I guess... can you elaborate on that kid??

Spider-Infant: mdsdjfnpsdf idk!!! its just like my friends dont trust me!!!! idk!!

TinMan: I dont think that it's they don't trust you, but it's more like...

TinMan: okay, scenario, picture this;

TinMan: one of your friends is being bullied

TinMan: how are you gonna react to that?

Spider-Infant: this is a trap question ur doing this to Prove A Point

TinMan: answer the question, pete

Spider-Infant: mnfgduisdop

Spider-Infant: id be very >:(((( at the bully and probs tell a teacher or yell idk??? id be Mad

TinMan: okay, now picture this,

TinMan: your friend is saying they can handle it

TinMan: even though the comments sometimes hurt and sometimes the guy gets physical

Spider-Infant: ,,,,,i see ur point but i dont like it

TinMan: exactly

Spider-Infant: mfnsdui now i feel like a berk :(

Spider-Infant: but how do i even??? get back at flash or whatever???

Spider-Infant: i dont WANT him to go after me or anyone else :(

TinMan: well....

 

* * *

 

_"physical hell" (MJ, peteypie, nedboy) (3/18/19)_

 

_nedboy is online_

 

_MJ is online_

 

_peteypie is online_

 

nedboy: peter what are you DOING

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oooh,,,, look at that,,,,,,,,,, a cliff hanger,,,,,,,  
> little did u know its a cliff hanger so i can Have Time to procrastinate and Figure Out how peter's gonna deal with things bc my idea is to have him, like,,,  
> ok so u know how sometimes u get to grade ur classmates tests??? yeah basically my only idea is to have peter erase some answers and make them Wrong But Close or Completely Wrong and basically wreck flash's test grade  
> but, see,,, peter would feel Bad doing that so idk man  
> so if u have any ideas!! dont be afraid to comment them!!  
> and if u dont have any ideas then dont worry!! ill probs figure it out by the time i post another chapter ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


	3. fuckin YEET

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michelle J.: it is my grand honor to do this today,,,,  
> Michelle J.: eugene thompson has been kicked off the decathalon team  
> Gwen S.: OMG  
> Eugene T.: excuse me but WHAT THE FUCK? WHY?

_"physical hell" (MJ, peteypie, nedboy) (3/18/19)_

_nedboy is online_   
_MJ is online_   
_peteypie is online_

  
nedboy: peter what are you DOING  
peteypie: what do u mean??  
nedboy: i can SEE u furiously using ur eraser???? wyd????  
MJ: Why are you two Talking when we should be grading tests  
peteypie: pot, kettle  
MJ: But am I wrong?  
nedboy: not the point  
nedboy: we??? are grading tests??? what are u erasing???  
peteypie: oh  
peteypie: yknow  
MJ: Is that eugene's test?  
nedboy: PETER  
peteypie: nO IT ISNT  
MJ: bitch excuse me  
peteypie: fmsdifopsdfsdfi8df  
peteypie: okay yeah it is but i can EXPLAIN  
peteypie: ok so i talked to mr stark last night  
MJ: A terrible idea but go off I guess  
peteypie: ANYWAYS  
peteypie: i talked to mr stark last night and i was like  
peteypie: "how do i deal w/ life nd stuff???"  
peteypie: and he went "well..... revenge is always an option"  
peteypie: and so far its been a good option i am?????? infinitely lighter in the stress department rn  
nedboy: omg peter im so proud of u,,,,  
MJ: What are u gonna do when flash finds out his test has been Fucked?  
peteypie: uhhhhh stay away obvi ??  
MJ: Understandable but like  
MJ: How will u deal with the Aftermath  
peteypie: i mean its p doubtful he'll find out  
peteypie: but i mean if i had to deal w/ it i can always just??? deny it??  
peteypie: whats he gonna do, sue me bc he t h i n k s that the guy he's been raggin on for Years suddenly grew a spine and messed up his grades?  
nedboy: jfisdofjpsdfds lets be pROUD of peter rather than rag on him  
nedboy: he's actually doing smth!!! which is better than yesterday!!  
peteypie: wow r00d  
MJ: Mhm, well, if this blows up, dont tell me i didnt warn u  
peteypie: noted and confirmed, but let me hope  
peteypie: besides, like,,,, i dont want??? him to bully me??? or anyone else???  
peteypie: and since the school isnt rly doing anything abt it bc believe me they k n o w  
peteypie: i might as well try and do smth right??  
MJ: No judgies on my side  
MJ: I just hope u know what ur doin pal  
peteypie: oh i dont but i can dream

 

* * *

 

  
_"acadec groupchat" (Peter P., Eugene T., Michelle J., Ned L., Gwen S., Abrabam A., Betty B., Sally A.) (3/22/19)_

  
_Michelle J. is online_

  
Michelle J.: oooh ive got some News

  
_Peter P. is online_

  
Peter P.: spill the tea sis  
Michelle J.: First I'm gonna need everyone on here so I'll wait

  
_Eugene T. is online_   
_Ned L. is online_   
_Gwen S. is online_   
_Abraham A. is online_   
_Betty B. is online_   
_Sally A. is online_

  
Ned L.: spill the tea sis  
Michelle J.: it is my grand honor to do this today,,,,  
Michelle J.: eugene thompson has been kicked off the decathalon team  
Gwen S.: OMG  
Eugene T.: excuse me but WHAT THE FUCK? WHY?  
Abraham A.: i mean im not surprised not gonna lie tbh,,,,  
Betty B.: oh that's horrible!! im so sorry flash :(  
Sally A.: fsdjifosdf shit man  
Michelle J.: mr. harrington didnt wanna squeal in front of all of you so he made me do this  
Michelle J.: but apparently its because flash failed his latest test?? and so apparently his grade plummeted or smth? idk all the details  
Eugene T.: ??which test??  
Michelle J.: how should I know?  
Eugene T.: i shouldnt have failed any of them!! the tests this week were fuckgin easy how the fuck did i fail  
Michelle J.: literally why would I know  
Michelle J.: so now that we've been given this insight, it is my honor to cordially do this...

  
_Michelle J. kicked Eugene T. out of "acadec groupchat"_

  
Peter P.: omg  
Ned L.: o m g  
Abraham A.: ,,,,,am i the only one not that bothered?????  
Abraham A.: i mean he was just an alternate so w/e right??  
Sally A.: yeah but now we need a new alternate?? so that way if peter is gone we can actually yknow replace him  
Peter P.: fgnsjiofjsdfio i cant believe flash got fuckin yeeted from the groupchat  
Michelle J.: yeah, so. we'll have to be hunting around for alternates.  
Gwen S.: there's this kid i know named seymour that might be able to apply???  
Gwen S.: im p sure he was only Just beaten out by flash when we were doign sign ups yknow  
Michelle J.: cool, alright, you talk to him then

  
_Michelle J. is offline_   
_Peter P. is offline_   
_Ned L. is offline_

 

* * *

 

  
_"actual physical hell" (MJ, peteypie, nedboy) (3/22/19)_

  
_peteypie is online_

  
peteypie: dfjisdopjfdio oh fuckin nfosdfjiosdfp n o

  
_MJ is online_   
_nedboy is online_

  
MJ: I cant believe peter got flash kicked out of acadec  
peteypie: JFIESOJPFS I DIDNT MEAN TO  
MJ: doesn't change the fact that you did  
nedboy: i mean?????? this could be a good thing tho???  
nedboy: bc now flash isnt, like, gonna be able to distract ppl during practice right???  
peteypie: o h g od

* * *

 

"Helicopter Parenting" (May, Tony Stark) (3/25/19)

  
May is online

  
May: Tony  
May: There's been an altercation at Pete's school and i cant go  
May: since youre his second emergency contact do you think you can handle it?

  
_Tony Stark is online_

  
Tony Stark: Yeah alright  
Tony Stark: what happened?  
May: peter's gotten into a fight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jisofpjfois whats UP honestly im just updating this Whenever tbh tbh  
> but hey!! hi!! this idea is entirely credited to !! thank u sm BuchananGalaxyCarter!!  
> i'd say sry for the delay but also there's,,,, only three chapters,,,,,,, so,,,,, yeah!!  
> got any ideas? wanna just yell at me? leave a comment if u so desire to and i'll def try to respond!!  
> and by "try" i mean "will" bc lets be real i have,,,, nothing else to do

**Author's Note:**

> whats up this is, like, the first avengers anything ive ever done,,,, so,,,, pls be gentle,,,,,,,,  
> nah but fr dont be afraid to, like, yknow, give some comments and stuff!! i love opinions and tbh the trashcan in my head known as a brain isnt good with ideas, so feel free to give me any that u might have!!  
> i'll update when i update, gonna be real with ya


End file.
